Overcoming Low Self- Confidence
What Is Confidence?
Confidence is something we want to believe that we will arrive at, that we'll suddenly become confident, and everything will be fine.
Instead, it's a journey, not a destination. It's constant learning and ebbing and flowing.
There's no one size fits all statement that's true for all of us about confidence. The one thing we do know is that confidence shows up for each of us when we know exactly who we are and we accept ourselves.
It's not marked by anyone else's interpretation of confidence.
A friend asked her team when do they feel most confident?
And everyone said when they're standing in their own unique power.
Latest Statistics on Low Self-Confidence:
According to recent studies and statistics, low self-confidence continues to affect a significant portion of the population. Here are some key findings:
A prevalence of 19.4% of students have been found to experience low self-esteem. This highlights the prevalence of this issue among young individuals.
Globally, as much as 85% of people have suffered from low self-esteem at some point in their lives.
In the UK, only 42% of men feel self-confident in their ability to do their job, while almost 60% lack confidence in their abilities.
Low self-esteem has been linked to various negative outcomes, including violent behavior, school dropout rates, teenage pregnancy, suicide, and low academic achievement
Teenagers with low self-esteem are more likely to develop depression, with studies showing a 1.26 times higher risk compared to their peers.
Differences of How Confidence Affects Men and Woman
Psychology has shown how men's self-esteem moves in an upward, linear movement whereas women are more up and down.
Men are more stable in their own self opinions, whereas for women, it's a blend of nature and nurture that determines their own self-worth.
We all want to make more improvements, right? Confidence is a soft skill that can be improved. Confidence can change every facet of our lives. There are so many different factors that can influence our confidence. The way we were raised, our education, our relationships. When it comes to confidence, nature's effects 40%, while 60% was about nurture.
Thoughts On Confidence
We lose confidence when we fail to keep promises to ourselves. Think about your resolutions or your vision board. How many times have we had that big goal and we start to gain traction only to fall off and feel like a failure? It's a shame cycle. We set lofty goals but then life gets in the way. You're stretched so thin and the idea of adding one more thing to your plate overwhelms you. You're focusing on hard skills, that you forget to lean on the soft ones like empathy and confidence, and belief. You must evolve the ways you set your goals so you can BUILD confidence. Confidence can be built into tiny actions every day.
Causes of Low Self-Confidence:
Low self-confidence can stem from various factors. Some common causes include:
Negative past experiences or failures: Constant setbacks or criticisms can erode one's belief in their abilities.
Comparisons to others: Constantly comparing oneself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.
Negative self-talk: Engaging in self-deprecating thoughts and negative self-talk can chip away at one's confidence over time.
Here is a process that I believe helps us to gain confidence.
Awareness and Ease:
The ability to see clearly and find peace in the space of being grounded.
Develop a Daily Mindfulness Practice:
Teaches you to focus your attention, drop spinning story lines, and come to a place of calm and ease. This will allow you to make better decisions and focus on the things that matter most.
Start Practicing Micro Mind-Breath:
Takes about 30 seconds. We have these systems in our bodies called the sympathetic nervous system and the para sympathetic nervous system. When we become anxious or nervous about something our sympathetic system becomes dominant and we are in a fight or flight mood, but when we relax and take deep breaths and become calm and relaxed the parasympathetic systems opens up our ability to think and be creative.
These breathing techniques allow us to do things that we normally might not be able to do.
They also allow us to continue to take action.
Bravery:
A willingness to act even when you don't know it will work.
Understand the Ellsberg Paradox:
We are regularly faced with making decisions with
imperfect circumstances. We are wired to run from making decisions that put us in the
line of uncertainty, especially when the stakes are high. How can we change this and
make us more comfortable with making brave decisions in the face of uncertainty?
Chunk the Stakes:
Take those stakes and shrink them down into smaller steps. Commit
to one step at a time.
Certainty Anchors:
Ritualize and habitualize things in your life to create certainty.
(Example: eating the same thing for breakfast each morning.)
Normalize Unconfident Action:
Surround yourself with others who take action and can
share the experience alongside with you. It installs a group dynamic of bravery.
Conviction:
A deep knowing around why it matters and what the stakes are.
Start asking the "why" questions multiple times, step away, and then ask again. Understand why you said yes in the first place. Let your subconscious brain keep asking these questions and when you finally get the answer, journal it. When you can revisit the deepest why, it gives you a sense of conviction and understanding of the stakes.
Conclusion:
Low self-confidence is a common challenge faced by many individuals. By understanding the latest statistics, causes, and facts about self-confidence, we can begin to address this issue effectively. Through dedicated efforts, such as challenging negative thoughts, setting achievable goals, practicing self-care, surrounding ourselves with positivity, and embracing failure, we can gradually increase our self-confidence and unlock our true potential.
